Here is a collection of various quotes found in the sigs of people posting on Slashdot over the years. I had noticed and retained many of the quotes, but recently someone posted this tasty collection, so I figured I'd put it up here for posterity. Some are quotes from well known personalities, some are originals, some are old, many are certainly misattributed. Most are geeky in their humor.
One of my favorites: "Why does everyone always overgeneralize?"
Lotteries are a tax on people who suck at math.
"He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD."
-- Deuteronomy 23:1
The metric system is the tool of the devil!! I get forty rods to the hogshead, and that's the way I likes it!!
Someone had to put all that chaos there!
-- Greyfox (firstname.lastname@example.org)
I love vegetarians -- some of my favorite foods are vegetarians.
"Today's forecast calls for sprinkles of genius with a chance of doom!"
-- Stewie Griffin
The truth does not set you free, it just makes everyone irritable.
Which is worse: Ignorance or Apathy? Who knows? Who cares?
It's pretty funny, actually. It all started when I thought that inflammable was the opposite of flammable...
From a signature line at the end of every message:
[Drink Coke] [Army - Be All You Can Be] [This ad space for sale! Contact the author for current rates]
"You can't have everything. Where would you keep it?"
-- Steven Wright
A computer without a Microsoft operating system is like a dog without bricks tied to it's head.
-- dieMSdie (email@example.com)
"Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it"
-- Richard Feynman
This is a UNIX email virus. It works on the honor system: If you're running a variant of unix , please forward this message to everyone you know and delete a bunch of your files at random. Thank you for your cooperation.
Error: Cannot find file REALITY.SYS - Universe halted, please reboot!
It's sad to live in a world where knowing how to program your VCR actually lowers your social status...
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are not necessarily mine, as I've not yet had my medication today.
When I have to develop under Windows, I spend long, frustrating days where mis-handling of a pointer causes BSOD, not a core dump.
"Linux is a beautiful thing, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and we're geeks.
Be nice to your friends. If it weren't for them, you'd be a complete stranger.
5.72 MOhms across my tongue... should i be concerned?
"Why does everyone always overgeneralize?"
If at first you don't succeed, try a shorter bungee.
Any attempt to brew coffee with a teapot should result in the error code "418 I'm a teapot". The resulting entity body MAY be short and stout. [RFC 2324]
-- Eric Green (firstname.lastname@example.org)
The Internet interprets advertising as damage and routes around it.
-- Paul Crowley (email@example.com)
There are two kinds of people in this world -- Those who divide people into two groups and those who don't.
-- YogSothoth (firstname.lastname@example.org (s/[0-9]//g
The Christian Right is Neither
-- cbuskirk (email@example.com
Inertia's what makes the world go 'round.
If you are angry with someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes... then you'll be a mile away from them, and you'll have their shoes.
-- hobbit (hamish@nutshell.SPAM.freeserve.SPAM.co.uk)
Fruit flies like bananas...Time flies like the wind...
Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my hard drive?
-- mcelrath (firstname.lastname@example.org)
"One World, one Web, one Program" -- Microsoft promotional ad
"Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Fuhrer" -- Adolf Hitler
-- Wakko Warner (email@example.com)
"'Tis some script kidd3z," I muttered, "tapping at my server port--Only this, and nothing more."
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
-o-"Warning: You are logged into reality as root..."-o-
There are three types of people in the world; those who can count, and those who can't.
All generalizations are false.
A theory: Women do not, snore, burp, sweat or fart. Therefore, they must bitch, or they will explode.
Why is it that it's a penny for your thoughts, but you have to put your two cents in? Somebody's makin a penny.
-- Steven Wright
I've lost my faith in nihilism.
Being a geek means never having to ask, "Paper or plastic?"
"Ah yes, the Tomahawk Cruise missle... the rich country's car bomb."
-- Rand Race (firstname.lastname@example.org
I am hypoallergenic, dermatologist tested, and dishwasher safe...
-- ecliptic_1 (email@example.com)
The problems that exist in the world today cannot be solved by the level of thinking that created them.
There is nothing more odious to me than an expensive church.
"Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond movie."
-- Dennis Miller
Every night, tired dyslexics around the world look forward to 8 hours of peels.
"I do know I'm ready for the job. And, if not, that's just the way it goes."
-- G. W. Bush 8/21/2000
A friend of mine has a barcode on his arm. He rings up as a $.35 pack of JuicyFruit.
Preserve Wildlife -- Pickle a squirrel today!
You know lately I've been thinking recently about the sig system. I really think that 120 characters seems a bit restr
-- Valar firstname.lastname@example.org
"Don't anthropomorphize computers. They hate that."
5 out of 4 People have problems with fractions.
-- fjordboy email@example.com
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side.
-- Hunter S. Thompson
If at first you don't succeed, it is quite certain you will give up skydiving.
Sponsored by: Chork Lite - Because having an active lifestyle doesn't mean you have to give up jellied meat.
I'm in search of myself. If you found me before I arrive, please have me wait.
"Time's fun when you're having flies."
-- Kermit the Frog
...A no smoking section in a resturant is like having a no peeing section in a swimming pool...
Swearing is the crutch of inarticulate mother fuckers.
-- xodiakbrad AT geeknet DOT net
If Bill Gates had a nickel for every time Windows crashed... ..oh wait, he does.
-- Nate Fox (slashdotatdafox.org)